Dating 101 - The Tingle
U know when you touch or hug someone you're really attracted to and U feel ... "the tingle"? Well, that happened to me last night for the very first time in a long time. I haven' t felt "the tingle" since my days with "the boy" a few months ago (more news on "the boy", by the way, 2 come in a later post). Well, this tingling sensation that jetted warmth and glee through my body like a heroin fix came quite unexpectedly and kind of threw me for a loop.
There's this guy who I've seen a few times at the bar and we've chatted. I always thought he was adorable, not really sexy or hot or fine or any of those lustier adjectives per se, but really and truly fucking cute. Well, I saw him last night and he opened his arms in a friendly greeting, as we often do, and I gave him a quick hug. Stunned. He felt so good in my arms, like he was supposed to be there, like he was the polar opposite of my magnetic center. He spoke for about 10 seconds then walked away, as we often do, and I was floored.
Now, as you know I've given up casual sex in the search for a relationship, so that means I haven't had sex in ... well, a bit longer than I'm accustomed to! So, I quickly turned to my roommate and his friend and asked for a hug just to make sure that the "tingle" was not in fact simple lust from a body that's been starved 4 affection. After asking me a kazillion questions ( my god, it's just a hug!) they finally complied. Nothing. Nada. In fact, downright ewwww! So, I knew that it was indeed the "tingle".
My roommate urged me, as he often does, 2 go talk 2 him. "What do U have 2 lose?" he asked with a sardonic grin. Hmm, only my dignity, self esteem and self worth when I get rejected. But what the hell, all those things have already been trampled on recently, so I made my way to the other side of the bar where I eventually got up the nerve to ask him out. He said yes ... BUT it would only be for drinks and not for a date. So, it wasn't a complete rejection, but it was a rejection nonetheless. It was his nice way of saying ... "hey, you're a cool guy, but you don't exactly turn me on." Then of course, he excused himself without getting my number or me getting his. In other words, he's not interested.
So, a couple of good things came out of this. First, I don't have to worry about him being a hot and cold boy (read other post). Second, I don't have to go through a date with him worrying about whether or not I'm being interesting, funny, boring, cute or just annoying. That's always the worst, when U know U like someone, but U have no idea yet what they think of U and U have those awkward silences. Yuck. I hate those. So, there will be none of those silences 4 us.
Whenever I run into this adorable boy who gave me the "tingle", I'll simply nod, smile, say hi and pretend like he never sparked a fire of hope in me.
"Maybe we'll meet a bar, he'll drive a funky car. Maybe we'll meet at a club and fall so deeply in love ..." - Janet Jackson, Someone 2 Call My Lover.
There's this guy who I've seen a few times at the bar and we've chatted. I always thought he was adorable, not really sexy or hot or fine or any of those lustier adjectives per se, but really and truly fucking cute. Well, I saw him last night and he opened his arms in a friendly greeting, as we often do, and I gave him a quick hug. Stunned. He felt so good in my arms, like he was supposed to be there, like he was the polar opposite of my magnetic center. He spoke for about 10 seconds then walked away, as we often do, and I was floored.
Now, as you know I've given up casual sex in the search for a relationship, so that means I haven't had sex in ... well, a bit longer than I'm accustomed to! So, I quickly turned to my roommate and his friend and asked for a hug just to make sure that the "tingle" was not in fact simple lust from a body that's been starved 4 affection. After asking me a kazillion questions ( my god, it's just a hug!) they finally complied. Nothing. Nada. In fact, downright ewwww! So, I knew that it was indeed the "tingle".
My roommate urged me, as he often does, 2 go talk 2 him. "What do U have 2 lose?" he asked with a sardonic grin. Hmm, only my dignity, self esteem and self worth when I get rejected. But what the hell, all those things have already been trampled on recently, so I made my way to the other side of the bar where I eventually got up the nerve to ask him out. He said yes ... BUT it would only be for drinks and not for a date. So, it wasn't a complete rejection, but it was a rejection nonetheless. It was his nice way of saying ... "hey, you're a cool guy, but you don't exactly turn me on." Then of course, he excused himself without getting my number or me getting his. In other words, he's not interested.
So, a couple of good things came out of this. First, I don't have to worry about him being a hot and cold boy (read other post). Second, I don't have to go through a date with him worrying about whether or not I'm being interesting, funny, boring, cute or just annoying. That's always the worst, when U know U like someone, but U have no idea yet what they think of U and U have those awkward silences. Yuck. I hate those. So, there will be none of those silences 4 us.
Whenever I run into this adorable boy who gave me the "tingle", I'll simply nod, smile, say hi and pretend like he never sparked a fire of hope in me.
"Maybe we'll meet a bar, he'll drive a funky car. Maybe we'll meet at a club and fall so deeply in love ..." - Janet Jackson, Someone 2 Call My Lover.
posted by Saturn at
12:20 PM
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